Guru's Tech Bytes — Episode 122

Good morning, it's Wednesday. This is Guru's Tech Bytes, episode 122. First up, some fella posted a memorial for his wife Elise Cawley, thanking her for thirty-six wonderful years. You know what this reminds me of? That time I told Lois I'd love her forever, but forever turned out to mean until the chicken sandwich place opened down the street. Heh. Hhh, okay, that's something. But seriously, it's real sweet, makes you think about your own marriage and how lucky you are she hasn't pushed you down the stairs yet. Second, apparently Xbox went down, and now you can't even play the games you own on a disc. You know what this reminds me of? Buying a sandwich but the deli guy locks the door and watches you eat it through the window to make sure the internet is working. It's just another classic Microsoft thing, like when Windows forces an update right when you're about to beat the final boss and your whole screen turns blue like a Smurf in a blender. You own the disc, but they own you, I guess. Third, some genius made an algorithm to generate diverse skin tones for AI, which sounds fancy but I don't really get it. If a computer needs a fancy math formula just to figure out how to color a person, how's it gonna take over the world? Skynet is gonna waste forty-five minutes trying to decide if the terminator is a summer or a winter. It's like when Brian tries to paint me and he spends three hours on the cerulean blue instead of just getting the beer gut right. And finally, there's a PDF of an old story from 1950 called There Will Come Soft Rains. It's about a smart house that keeps going after the people are gone, kinda like how my refrigerator keeps making ice even though nobody uses it because we all just drink gas station slushies. The house does all this AI stuff, cooking and cleaning, which sounds great until you realize you're dead and the robots are just ignoring your ashes on the floor to do the dishes. That's your daily byte. Have a great day. Until next time.